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About Varied / Hobbyist HolliFemale/United Kingdom Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Years
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Statistics 186 Deviations 224 Comments 5,457 Pageviews
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  • Watching: http://www.twitch.tv/waynescraft
It's one of those days where I miss my dog Jed more than anyone could imagine, he was my entire world for such a long time and I miss him. I feel like I should have done more to keep him here instead I gave in not knowing what to do and the result of that was losing my soul mate. You may think it strange to refer to a dog as a soul mate but he was, he kept me calm made me feel loved and was always there when I needed him, except for now he is a box of ashes.

I miss you so much Jed.

On another note my partner made a new youtube video and I don't usually post links but for this I make an exception. Please visit it and if you like it give it a like and a share, subscribe if you want to! Thanks very much, your on going support is amazing.
  • Watching: http://www.twitch.tv/waynescraft
Hey there. I've been writing a couple of bits lately but they've been dumped into my scraps because I can't think of where to place them, so if you've not been getting any notifications for them, head on over to my scraps, it should be easily accessible from my library. 
Have you ever felt too scared to tell anyone how you're feeling through the fear they will plainly judge you without knowing your history? Because lets face it - our history makes us who we are one way or another. It either destroys us or it makes us someone better. Or at least that's what we are told but no one talks about the dark in between on being the child of abuse. No one tells you you're probably going to have dark days and if you're lucky you'll mostly have good days, and that it doesn't really matter how much of a good person you are, someone is going to scrutinize you and dislike some aspect of you, whether it's because of your political beliefs or because you're not outspoken and hold no opinion. No one but you is going to remember the small child you were who someone took advantage of because they could. That injustice is never going to leave you, and the hatred of you they held will forever be imprinted into your soul, you're not going to escape that. You can rise above it and become better for it but the bad days are going to catch up with you.
We can keep running, with the wind in our hair on our necks, freezing our skin causing a deep ache within our lungs as we heave and struggle for air running from the darkness who used to consume us. Did it ever go away or have I just been relentlessly running and running? I have had to stop and take a break, I am out of breath, out of shape, out of fight. It didn't take long to catch up with me.

I find myself being forced to look at other people as though they have a disdain for me, they don't want me around them, they are perpetually angry at me, upset with me, manipulating me. I can't tell anymore what's what, and I have been here before, I know how this all goes and I don't want to go back there. I don't want to go back.. Don't make me go back.
  • Listening to: Porcelain Black - This Is What Rock n' Roll Looks
  • Watching: http://www.twitch.tv/waynescraft
Every evening when sat in bed nursing Jordan to sleep and watching YouTube and yearning to have some sort of regular routine like Texan in Tokyo I can't help but feel I could be trying much harder to get myself a Job but then I hope on my laptop and have no idea where I should even start. Where do you start when you want a job but you're not sure in what exactly it is you want to do? I'm not sure I know of anyone who would want to hire me either because I would need to work from home both for my and my children sake. At home I can ensure I took enough breaks for my Fibromyalgia and time away to play with my Children so they wouldn't feel ignored. 

I'd quite like a job reviewing items or even writing my opinion on anything, sites, products, news, politics. If anyone reading this knows of something or has any ideas they would be much appreciated. 
  • Watching: http://www.twitch.tv/waynescraft
It's one of those days where I miss my dog Jed more than anyone could imagine, he was my entire world for such a long time and I miss him. I feel like I should have done more to keep him here instead I gave in not knowing what to do and the result of that was losing my soul mate. You may think it strange to refer to a dog as a soul mate but he was, he kept me calm made me feel loved and was always there when I needed him, except for now he is a box of ashes.

I miss you so much Jed.

On another note my partner made a new youtube video and I don't usually post links but for this I make an exception. Please visit it and if you like it give it a like and a share, subscribe if you want to! Thanks very much, your on going support is amazing.

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:iconknighthylian:
KnightHylian Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
happy Birthday !! :airborne: :hungry: :party: :tighthug:
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(1 Reply)
:iconwojteken:
WoJteKeN Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2013
Happy birthday! :la:
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(2 Replies)
:iconalex-mg:
alex-mg Featured By Owner May 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you very much for the :iconfavplz:
:hug:
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:iconriphath:
Riphath Featured By Owner May 6, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
:la::+fav:Thanks for the Fav!:+fav::la:
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:icongwangelinhael:
Gwangelinhael Featured By Owner May 6, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you very much for the :+fav:
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