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About Varied / Hobbyist HolliFemale/United Kingdom Recent Activity
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Activity


  • Mood: Neutral
  • Listening to: FX - Electric Shock
  • Watching: http://www.twitch.tv/waynescraft
Well this is awkward.. So how long has it been? A year? More? I'm sorry that I've not been around to write anything lately. I don't mean to abandon those of you who like to read my writings and Journals. I've just been so busy being a mum and what not. My boys have grown incredibly fast and I am amazed by them. They are complete button pushers but where ever we go exampled by today we are continually told they are wonderfully behaved even if I am having to take away cutlery as they're banging them on the table or plate. Yes I know it's a fantastic sound and I encourage their growth in any way possible but sometimes my sound sensitivity won't allow me to allow them those couple of seconds of fun. Sorry. Jacob is still very blonde and Jordan has luxurious brown hair. Makes me wonder if mine was ever that soft. Probably. Gosh. I've lost my touch with this blogging thing haven't i? Perhaps I will write some of my personal journal entries in here and we shall see how that is received. 

My boys are total opposites but you can still see they are brothers. Jordan with brown eyes and brown hair and Jacob with his gorgeous blue eyes and blonde hair. A proper viking hah! 

So.. Two of my favorite youtubers Simon and Martina have made their move to Japan and I feel like although it is Sad that Eat Your Kimchi has come to and end those of us who were not around when they first set foot in Korea get to see their journey in Japan and watch their learning process which for me is super interesting seeing as I cannot speak any more than one language with a few different words here and there from several languages but it's not being fluent which is something I'd love. I'm excited.

Okay.. I'm just writing crap now. 
  • Mood: Defeated
  • Listening to: Fading Out - Wayne Norwood
  • Watching: http://www.twitch.tv/waynescraft
I'm trying to figure out just how to put my emotions into words, something for which I've only ever been good at if I hit either extreme. Happy or Sad. 

I don't feel like myself and honestly I can say I haven't for quite some time. I'm not sure what the remedy for this is. Is it to go away and be alone? Is it to just let whatever this haze is pass and quietly battle myself as my whole being tells me nothing will change. 

It doesn't make sense how I can miss you so much but it not seem mutual. How you can say you're afraid of losing me but not fight me to stay when I go to family for a while. 

Watching your interest for other women and what they have to say about whatever more interesting than me trying to start a conversation with you breaks my heart, and more so when they are beautiful specimens - when I myself am now fat blob of who I was when we first began. I gave birth to two boys for you and for myself. I ruined my body to make a family, and maybe it's ruined our passion. 

I can't make love to you right now, not properly. With your eyes closed I feel you're thinking of someone else and so I am put off and the pain starts as my body no longer produces lubrication. I was scared to admit it last time so I told you I needed to pee.

I don't know where we stand and I keep reassuring you we're fine because I don't want you to hurt, but I'm hurting. I don't feel strong. I'm trying though.

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Madictation
Holli
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United Kingdom
My name is Holli, and it is really spelt that way, not just to please me.
I live in England, and it is so very dull.

I've recently become a mum, my little boy Jacob-Joseph was born the 26th september, 6 days after I turned 20 and 5 days after his due date. And he is absoloutly gorgeous. My absolute world. I gave birth a year later to Jordan Zachary who was born the 11th of october. My babies mean everything to me.

I'm one for body language. I think sometimes it speaks louder than words, and it may be blasphemy for a writer to say, but I think words can mostly mean nothing.

Please do comment on my writings. I love to know what others think of them.

Anywho - Do leave comments and do give me a shout.
I'm normally friendly.
Interests
  • Mood: Neutral
  • Listening to: FX - Electric Shock
  • Watching: http://www.twitch.tv/waynescraft
Well this is awkward.. So how long has it been? A year? More? I'm sorry that I've not been around to write anything lately. I don't mean to abandon those of you who like to read my writings and Journals. I've just been so busy being a mum and what not. My boys have grown incredibly fast and I am amazed by them. They are complete button pushers but where ever we go exampled by today we are continually told they are wonderfully behaved even if I am having to take away cutlery as they're banging them on the table or plate. Yes I know it's a fantastic sound and I encourage their growth in any way possible but sometimes my sound sensitivity won't allow me to allow them those couple of seconds of fun. Sorry. Jacob is still very blonde and Jordan has luxurious brown hair. Makes me wonder if mine was ever that soft. Probably. Gosh. I've lost my touch with this blogging thing haven't i? Perhaps I will write some of my personal journal entries in here and we shall see how that is received. 

My boys are total opposites but you can still see they are brothers. Jordan with brown eyes and brown hair and Jacob with his gorgeous blue eyes and blonde hair. A proper viking hah! 

So.. Two of my favorite youtubers Simon and Martina have made their move to Japan and I feel like although it is Sad that Eat Your Kimchi has come to and end those of us who were not around when they first set foot in Korea get to see their journey in Japan and watch their learning process which for me is super interesting seeing as I cannot speak any more than one language with a few different words here and there from several languages but it's not being fluent which is something I'd love. I'm excited.

Okay.. I'm just writing crap now. 

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:iconknighthylian:
KnightHylian Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
happy Birthday !! :airborne: :hungry: :party: :tighthug:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconwojteken:
WoJteKeN Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2013
Happy birthday! :la:
Reply
(2 Replies)
:iconalex-mg:
alex-mg Featured By Owner May 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you very much for the :iconfavplz:
:hug:
Reply
:iconriphath:
Riphath Featured By Owner May 6, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
:la::+fav:Thanks for the Fav!:+fav::la:
Reply
:icongwangelinhael:
Gwangelinhael Featured By Owner May 6, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you very much for the :+fav:
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